Tough Boy:
1) Just keep going.
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I haven't been myself the past few months. I really have no idea what I've been doing. I have nothing constructive to show for the time that's lapsed since December. I have been struggling to figure out how to keep holding on to some of 'me' though.... The last time I had spent a night with my friend in RI was towards the end of January, but not since December 2nd the time before. I usually hang out with her each time I go down, once a week. Not to say I had completely isolated myself... but I noticed I just couldn't find the energy to watch her sing Karaoke so I just didn't go.
In an effort to pull myself back, I spent a few nights of the last two months trying to be social or once in a while hanging out one-on-one with someone. I just have to make sure I'm still remembering to eat!
I'm just in a funk. I have just enough energy to do the bare minimal of "thinking about" doing things... but nothing to start or attempt to complete projects. This includes my appeal for the Social Security Disability denial decision I received. My 60 days to file has already passed... I just don't have the energy.... :(
I'm hanging on by a string the past two months. It's a rollercoaster I just can't get off. But I'm not having fun anymore. I haven't liked this ride from the moment it took off - or rather, buckled me in.
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3 comments:
reading this seems like the very words I have wrote so many times.
Darkness intrudes and finds a grip and seems like it will never let go. Days pass alone, ill, scared, and all seems hopeless.
It is terrible and what makes it so much more is that others just don't realize how you feel...even doctors, or those in charge of distributing benefits and even loved ones.
rest. rest. rest.
know it does get better.
hopefully you have enough energy to come by and collect your award!
How are you doing? Have prayed for you.
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