Eating Well to Be Well

I was stumbling along on Shine via Yahoo.com this morning while waiting to see if my migraine would settle or erupt. Thought this was a pretty simple article that was able to wrap up a pretty complex topic. Eating well can be extremely difficult for anyone. Nobody's perfect. Changing learned habits are often impossible to break - and I'm not one to say things are impossible. But it can often be the first step to good health.

One thing I can be thankful for is that I've had a reset button pushed on my body and my appetite. As I've recovered, I've tried to get used to having some of the 'better' foods always around and learning what choices would be better (and just as easy) to buy at the store. I wasn't craving anything for a long time and I wouldn't ever get hungry. I got a second chance to learn how to worship my body as the temple it truly ought to be... and most certainly is, obviously!!

The last topic of caffeine is such a delicate one, especially after brain injuries. However, when I tried to mention that my mom should try to eat more veggies than she does, I know the first thing she yammered out was "I'M NOT GIVING UP CAFFEINE!!" Ok... Nobody's pressing that you had to, Mom. I never got on the coffee boat, but it's as tough to quit as smoking. So I don't feel I'm as well versed as I should be to go suggesting any particulars about the rather touchy subject! :)

Here's the article, 4 Ways Your Eating Habits Can Make You Happier:

Many people seeking help for mental health issues look first to chemical intervention in the form of a medication. There is another chemical intervention which you can utilize yourself - your diet. Having a healthy diet is crucial when trying to fight for your mental health, especially where mood disorders are concerned. How can dietary changes affect depression, anxiety and mood swings?

Good mental health is about maintaining balance, in your thoughts, in your actions and especially in your emotions. When addressing nutrition for mental health it is important to understand how food nourishes and fuels your body as well as the part it plays in providing your body with necessary nutrients for maintaining that balance that it is important for peace of mind.


1. Complex Carbohydrates
Carbohydrates are the body's preferred source of energy. Your body will burn carbohydrates first before turning to protein or fats. A lack of energy sources in the body will result in the body shutting down and altering activity levels. People who are chronically tired often feel sad and hopeless as a result. To keep your emotions on an even keel it is important to have a slow steady stream of carbohydrates broken down and made available in the bloodstream for energy.

People struggling with depression and/or mood swings often rely heavily on simple carbohydrates (sugars) rather than complex carbohydrates (starches). Simple carbohydrates (candies, table sugar, honey, sodas, fruits, milk products) break down quickly in the bloodstream and hit it with a bang that provides immediate energy. This is why they are preferred by people with depression. However, what goes up must come down, usually with the same speed and intensity. The surge of energy is followed by a crash when the sugar is quickly burned up. This crash exacerbates depression, fatigue, impaired concentration and memory and irritability. However, all simple carbohydrates are not equal. There is a difference between the simplest carbohydrates like table sugar, sodas and candies which are referred to as "empty calories" because they provide so much glucose, an easily broken down form of sugar, and no nutritional value. Compare these with fruits and milk products whose sugars (fructose and galactose respectively) are somewhat harder to break down, enter the bloodstream a bit more gradually and have a somewhat milder crash and provide significant nutrition such as vitamin C and calcium. If you are craving something sweet have an apple or orange rather than a candy bar.

Complex carbohydrates (whole grains, starchy vegetables and beans) are even harder for the body to metabolize and provide and slow, constant stream of fuel for the body's energy demands. This avoids the peaks and crashes of the simple carbohydrates. Whole grains also provide lots of B vitamins which calm and stabilize the mood and help your body metabolize carbohydrates for increased energy.


2. Proteins

It is important to eat high quality proteins like chicken, fish, turkey, soy, dairy products and beans. (I am a very big fan of beans. They are usually high in protein, low in fat and high in fiber.) Proteins are made of amino acids. Your body uses amino acids to make neurotransmitters in the brain. These chemicals (like serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine and GABA) are the chemicals which antidepressants and anxiolytics (anti-anxiety medications) seek to increase to improve your mood and calm you. Chicken and turkey are also high in tryptophan, which the body also uses to make serotonin, one of the primary neurotransmitters for lifting and calming the mood. Running short on these neurotransmitters results in depression, irritability, difficulty thinking and remembering, insomnia, fatigue and anxiety. Having sufficient stores of these neurotransmitters available to the brain helps it regulate emotions and thinking. Providing your body with the necessary ingredients to manufacture these neurotransmitters is vital for improving your mental health and keeping things in balance.


3. Fats

The benefits of a low fat diet for fighting weight gain and heart disease have been highly touted. However, many don't realize that limiting your fat intake too severely of healthy fats can result in serious mood changes, irritability and aggression. The omega-3 fatty acids found in fish have been found to help stabilize mood swings and decrease stress. "Good fats" burn clean in the bloodstream compared to "bad fats" which clog the arteries and narrow the blood vessels. Good fats include olive oil, nuts, seeds, avocadoes and fish. Exchange that fried chicken for a grilled salmon. Replace a mayonnaise dressing with an olive oil and vinegar splash.


4. Caffeine

It's always amazing to me to find people struggling with serious anxiety problems who are still drinking a significant amount of caffeine everyday. Since I don't drink caffeine on a regular basis I have no tolerance for it and it literally makes me shake when I do drink it. I can't imagine throwing that in on top of an anxiety problem. If anxiety is the problem, I would eliminate caffeine all together and see if it helps.

For people with mood disorders, caffeine provides a serious rush of energy, but like simple carbohydrates (sugars) you crash when it wears off. This peak and crash pattern is not good for people trying to stabilize mood swings and the crash will exacerbate depressive symptoms.

Call for Backup

Tough Boy tip of the day:

1) When things are spiraling, call someone who really won't mind sweeping, dusting, doing laundry, etc.

2) Wear those sunglasses! You're not a solar unit that gains energy when basking in those rays!!

3) Don't ever let your grocery cart look like mine..........

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As you recover - you'll find some more comfort than before, you'll experience a longer 'better day,' maybe have some more better days each month, and you will SLOWLY feel a bigger push to just be you again!

I've felt this push a lot. I know there are things that are better. I would like to say I have more energy. I would like to say I'm closer than ever before - which I am, but I still have a ways to go.

The last few weeks I've been looking around at my apartment and started to realize that my energy is still being completely depleted at the end of each day. I might be completing my assignments (barely) on time. I might be doing more math, I might be a faster reader, I might be having better conversations and feeling like I have more energy to have an educated life again. But in all honesty, and naturally, I have let other things fall by the wayside while my priorities changed.

The order of my apartment is important for me to find things. It's important so I feel I have some structure. It's important so I can recover without losing pieces, defaulting my credit, or getting mice in my house. And often, when things are a DISASTER - I feel less put together myself. My health slips, the care of my skin slips, if I can feed myself comes out when my weight slips, my relationships with friends and family slips, and it was very hard to see it happening until everything looked as if I was now a disaster!

My 'income' right now is coming from my psych program. The energy I have been pummeling into my assignments has been redistributed from the energy I had for self-care. But I had gotten so disorganized... I had to call for backup.

Thank goodness for the people in your life that won't just 'say' "if you need something, call" and then disappoint. Thank goodness for the people who don't question why you need help putting your clean laundry away. Thank goodness for the people who will put your dishes into the dishwasher and press start. Thank goodness for the people who will listen to you verbally vomit about your life and whats on your mind and whats building up and not hold judgement or rumor or make you feel like they don't care.

Thank goodness for my friend, Maria. I've known her since I was about three years old, we lost touch for years when we went to college and recently keep in touch every few months. But she is one of these people. Not many exist.

I've stopped therapy in RI for a little while - I need to put my life back together. Cleaning was just the start. I need the energy to get through my course and do the final project. I need the energy to reapply for accommodations to retake my law exam. I need the energy that was being spent on going home, then going to RI, then coming back... just for a few minutes of LENS therapy. Although, I'm torn. I know I need it. I go there because its too much to start all over. I go there because of my history of them documenting my recovery. And starting over is just so exhausting. But I can come back when I think I can...

I think my energy is increasing. But the level of my functioning is also increasing and eating off any of the extra that I've gained. So I'm only capable of doing X amount of things still. I could do that amount when I had Y amount of energy. But as I recover I have a little more - Y + Z amount of energy. But I'm still only capable of doing X amount of things. So where's Z energy going??

I think I can account Z energy being allotted towards the 'simple' functions that are 'reconnecting' in my brain. I might not be doing more things, but I'm doing things more efficiently. Like my memory. Recognizing faces. Shortcuts. Remembering things I talked about with someone a while ago that relates to a conversation I have today. Being able to follow a conversation and not have to stop and ask what a word means - its understood rather than dwelling on it. But that little detail of remembering a definition without having to look it up, in the flow of a conversation IS IMPROVEMENT! It does take energy though...

SO that's my rant. Call for backup and get back on track!

Happy Spring!

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month!!

Pass it on, Tough Boy:

1) March is Brain Injury Awareness Month!! Spread the word!!

2) Still feeling that pain? Look into acupuncture or craniosacral therapy.

3) Do your body good! Avoid the junk. Replace your sugars and simple carbs (like white breads/pastas) and bring in some more whole foods, veggies, and fish that have tons of Omega-3s!

4) Get moving! Just a short walk outside, ten or fifteen minutes. I know, its tough... but it'll help!

5) Check out the other blogs I've collected under "Personal Stories" to the right. They've all got some insight on their own struggles - which might be just like your own.

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Just a quick stop by - as my situation hasn't dramatically changed at all. And I'm quite exhausted still.

But March is Brain Injury Awareness Month!!! How could I not stop by to leave some support to my fellow supporters and those looking for some relief! Spread the word and start creating awareness for our invisible struggle - who knows who'll notice, who knows who will be grateful to have found someone they can relate to, who knows what an impact it could make?? Just send over this link and start the discussion!


Relaying Tips

Got some awesome tips from some great online supports I've been leaning on (whether they know it or not!). Feel free to read verbatim what they wrote in the comments of my last post!!


Colette mentioned that her experience with acupunture and craniosacral therapy - often found at places that do massage and naturopathic therapies - has

help[ed] the pain, energy and feeling more balanced.

Unfortunately, you may find that most insurance companies will not pay for these services.


Broken Brilliant stopped by to remind me of healthy choices. These really do make a difference!

it's easy for me to make poor food choices, and then I can't figure out why I feel like crap.

I first read about the effect of sugars and simple carbs in a book written by Edward Hallowell, Driven to Distraction. It's a great book for those who have ADHD/ADD. However, one way to acquire ADHD/ADD... yep, you guessed it!... is from a mild traumatic brain injury.

I have seen first hand how much the brain 'changes' after a concussion - what makes me think that it hasn't changed how it responds to foods? Then again, ADHD/ADD is also genetic - and right before my accident, I had found out I have the genes. I changed my diet to eat less sugar and less cheese ravioli and cheap pizza - what a difference! So I know making healthy choices can be great!

If you don't want to 'diet,' eat as much vegetables as you want - just make sure you're eating better choices. Try veggies and whole grains. Vitamins and fiber. Proteins are important, too! Fish that contain Omega 3s are brain-tastic (especially SALMON! which I have learned to LOOOVE). Most artificial crab meat also has Omega 3.

Also, BB mentions exercise.

when it comes to my moods, but things like getting moving, going for a walk, etc. can make a lot of difference for me.

ADHD or not, exercise can alleviate a foggy mind, anxiety, depression, and just make you feel a little better.


How'd you find me?

The most common way people find me - is searching for "Happy Face" via Google. All because I linked a picture of that happy face on one of my posts. Oh brother!

But these search words that I stumbled on kinda made me laugh a little: "mtbi and quietly insane"

You don't even know the half of it. hahaha. Hope my site helped them a bit!


Read Personal Stories

I sometimes stumble on other blogs of people who are going through the same stuff. I find it comforting to read their struggles and know that I'm not alone and I'm not as crazy as I thought I was... or maybe I am - but everyone else is, too!

Here are a few that always check in :) Other links can be found under "Personal Stories" on the right.

Colette Amelia's Blog

Kazzel's Journey Blog

Brokenbrilliant's Blog

I've mentioned him before - he was the first one I found!! And he has TONS of information dedicated to just Brain Injuries.

Also, I haven't done it yet, but I'm about to check out the video he has linked - a guy in the Boston area made a 6-part video of his TBI presentation he's been giving for a few years.


Always finding good stuff!! Thanks guys!

Keep Applying, Keep Appealing, Keep Faith

Some small tidbits for a Tough Boy as we wait for Spring, longer days, and more sunshine (for those in North America)!!

1) Apply for your Statewide Head Injury Program (SHIP). Not all states have one, but it's worth looking into. This is the link for Massachusetts SHIP info.

2) Denied Social Security Disability? Here's an online appeal link.

3) Explore other - sometimes less obvious, less solid, less structured, or less tangible - avenues for support. Whether you have faith, want faith, need faith; whether you believe or you know others that believe in something different, religious, greater than you, or spiritual. Pray, have others pray, or dig a little deeper in yourself.

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Today I received a long awaited letter from the Massachusetts Rehabilitation Commission regarding my application to the Statewide Head Injury Program (SHIP).

I have been determined ELIGIBLE!!!!!!

This could potentially lead to a less grueling attempt to participate in vocation rehab - which I so desperately need to begin working again.

Not all state rehab services have a specific head injury program to apply to - but it's worth looking into. I'm also not sure about other countries (such as Canada or New Zealand). This is the link for info on applying for Massachusetts' SHIP.

Even if you aren't found eligible for services, it's important to apply anyway to help create awareness of how, when, etc you were affected by a head injury or concussion. A lot of funding governed towards these programs are allocated based on numbers - and those numbers are probably largely inaccurate for mild brain injuries. It could be your little impact towards better recognition and awareness for this frustrating invisible disability.

Update on My Life

I've been a mess the last few months. Uncharacteristically, last week I had a really great week. However, I am back to experiencing different levels of anxiety, neck/back pain, some depression, and a lot of unknown and uncertainty.

Thank you for checking in on me - for those who have - I'm still alive, just crawling along. I really do appreciate your thoughts and/or your prayers.

Low Energy Neurofeedback System

I know I am still yet to talk about the LENS treatment I've been getting - but I had gotten "too much" neurofeedback about a month ago and it resulted in the most unstable emotional state I've ever been in. Its important that someone who treats you with LENS knows how to go slowly, or to slow it down if you experience a week of instability.

To just touch a little on how bad it was: I cried... no, I weeped and ruminated in a persistent panic attack from the Thursday morning to the following Tuesday afternoon.

I knew it wasn't normal, I knew it wasn't how I think, and I'm fortunate to have been aware enough to know the difference. Needless to say, in that time, I really felt if those feelings would continue until my next weekly appointment, I needed 24 hour observation and a team of qualified mental health professionals to stabilize me. I had called my insurance about inpatient coverage, I had found McClean Psychiatric Hospital and found someone to take me there if I needed, I discussed admission procedures and even discussed with my lawyer, if I were to go what my options would be to cover the expenses. I was completely ready for a two week intensive psychiatric intervention as an inpatient.

There Just HAS to be Something Bigger than Little Me

That Thursday, I went to the book store and bought a book found in the 'Christian' area. For the entire weekend I was finally willing to really devote myself to reading about why 'God' makes people suffer and how 'He' plans to redeem you.

I found a book written by a psychologist that works with adults who were sexually abused as children, Dan B. Allender, PhD. His book, "The Healing Path," was not very preachy - which is exactly what I needed to begin to think about and maybe begin to accept something bigger than me, possibly called "God."

I was baptised both Roman Catholic and also Protestant. I attended a protestant church when I was very young, but my upbringing really didn't stress religion at all. By the time I was attending college, I gave up the fact that the bible would ever influence me. Three or four years ago, I actually flat out denied any faith - if I felt the need to pray, I would deliberately stop myself and say out loud "No, God doesn't exist. Anything I say will be wasted breath."

I can't sit and read the bible. I don't have the patience. I don't understand the language. I need someone to tell me in layman terms. I don't want a ton of (possibly fictional) bible stories as examples; I want real people who believe to tell me why I should believe, how they pray and what he's done for them. I'm a tough critic. But part of it is a readiness to accept a faith and put everything driving me to stress out, hopefully, into someone else's hands. I was so very much at the bottom of the world and ready.

This book was really good for what I personally needed. I am still not religious, or pushing it on anyone, but I am making a conscious effort to believe God has a plan. I am making a conscious effort to pray for Him to love me - for everything I am right now, as I am, despite everything I am incapable of doing right now. This book got me through the week until my next appointment.

Stressed and Overwhelmed

So between getting denied social security, missing the 60 day deadline to appeal the denial, not hearing from SHIP, not getting on a list for vocational rehab services until at least April, not having a dime for April 1st rent and beyond, having to RELEARN six years of pharmacy lingo and thousands of drugs to take my boards March 12 and 19th, and having absolutely NO energy to pull myself together - I'm trying not to freak out. I'm still alive.

One thing at a time. And some things might start to look a little up... but before I count the eggs in my basket, I'm still waiting anxiously for some very critical things to fall into place. Please continue thinking of me and I will try my hardest not to tweak out before jotting down any other things that can help you in your life through your recovery.

If it helps - I'm thinking of you, too.

Just barely getting by

Tough Boy:

1) Just keep going.

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I haven't been myself the past few months. I really have no idea what I've been doing. I have nothing constructive to show for the time that's lapsed since December. I have been struggling to figure out how to keep holding on to some of 'me' though.... The last time I had spent a night with my friend in RI was towards the end of January, but not since December 2nd the time before. I usually hang out with her each time I go down, once a week. Not to say I had completely isolated myself... but I noticed I just couldn't find the energy to watch her sing Karaoke so I just didn't go.

In an effort to pull myself back, I spent a few nights of the last two months trying to be social or once in a while hanging out one-on-one with someone. I just have to make sure I'm still remembering to eat!

I'm just in a funk. I have just enough energy to do the bare minimal of "thinking about" doing things... but nothing to start or attempt to complete projects. This includes my appeal for the Social Security Disability denial decision I received. My 60 days to file has already passed... I just don't have the energy.... :(

I'm hanging on by a string the past two months. It's a rollercoaster I just can't get off. But I'm not having fun anymore. I haven't liked this ride from the moment it took off - or rather, buckled me in.